Teens fighting to raise the age to buy guns might be the first activist group in history fighting for their own rights to be taken away.
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | email | 1 hrs ago
You are now younger than now.
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | email | 7 hrs ago
It would be much useful to get new teeth at 40 rather than whem you are 10.
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | email | 15 hrs ago
It is great that the first person they tested penicillin on was not allergic to penicillin
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | email | 23rd Feb '18
Notice how the friends that never text you back are the ones always on their phones when you see them
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | email | 23rd Feb '18
Someone with 6 fingers on one hand could rake in big bucks asking others to guess the amount of fingers extended behind their back.
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | email | 22nd Feb '18
If banks made 6 billion dollars from overdraft fees last year, then banks made 6 billion off of people who don't have money.
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | email | 22nd Feb '18
Bill Gates is like a video game character that has everything unlocked and all he can do now is personal challenges to pass the time.
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | email | 22nd Feb '18
Thanks butthole, for being able to distinguish the difference between a fart and a shit with about 99.9% accuracy
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | email | 22nd Feb '18
If roles were reversed and female orgasm was a required part of the impregnation process, there would be a lot less unplanned pregnancies.
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | email | 21st Feb '18
If you have a clap on light, rough sex turns into a rave.
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | email | 21st Feb '18
Do you think the guy who coined the term "One Hit Wonder" ever came up with any other popular phrases?
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | email | 21st Feb '18
Pirates have always seemed good about employing people with physical disabilities.
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | email | 20th Feb '18
Today's date, 2-20-2018, looks like it's stuttering.
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | email | 20th Feb '18
One day Rick Astley will die and no one will click on the headline.
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | email | 19th Feb '18
You know you've reached adulthood when your bed is in the middle of the wall instead of in the corner.
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | email | 18th Feb '18
Uber is everything our parents told us not to do. Everything.
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | email | 18th Feb '18
All of the best skipping stones are in the middle of the lake.
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | email | 17th Feb '18
Somebody who thinks that feathers on dinosaurs would suddenly make them not-scary has never been chased by a goose.
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | email | 17th Feb '18
Much like Schrödinger's Cat, OP's mother also exists in an indeterminate quantum state: being simultaneously deeply unattractive and yet also having managed to sleep with just about everyone.
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | email | 17th Feb '18
The average car in space is nicer than the average car on Earth
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | email | 16th Feb '18
If a baby gets born with its feet first, for a short time, it wears its mum as a hat.
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | email | 16th Feb '18
Women must find Dad jokes attractive, or they'd be known as bachelor jokes
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | email | 16th Feb '18
Wtf automatically translates to what the fuck in your head, but LOL just stays as LOL and not laugh out loud
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | email | 15th Feb '18
If we were an Alien race who lived 70 million light years away from Earth and traveled all the way here expecting to see some cool ass dinosaurs only to get hairless monkeys instead we just might be pissed enough to anal probe some Motherfuckers too.
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | email | 15th Feb '18
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