If you see Gordon Ramsey in the same restaurant as you, you either have great taste or horrible taste.
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | 7 hrs ago
Surfing is the only moon powered sport.
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | 12 hrs ago
Sleeping sucks. You take ages to finally fall asleep, you miss out on hours of your conscious life and when you wake up, your breath stinks, you look shit and you stink and need to clean yourself. But unlike earlier, when you couldn't get to sleep, now you don't want to get up.
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | 19 hrs ago
If you feel lonely while you’re masturbating, just imagine the hundreds of thousands of other people masturbating at the exact same moment and suddenly you’re part of a group event.
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | 23 hrs ago
If WWIII or a plague broke out and killed a million people every day, it would still take 21 years to wipe out the human race. There sure are a lot of people.
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | 20th Oct '19
If future historians don't know how to decode multiple layers of sarcasm, the internet's really going to throw them off.
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | 20th Oct '19
There are probably more guns in vehicle gloveboxes than actual gloves, but renaming them gun boxes would likely be received poorly.
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | 19th Oct '19
The human body is pretty silent given everything it is doing
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | 19th Oct '19
When you're a kid you think all adults are smart, as an adult you realize most of us are fucking stupid
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | 19th Oct '19
8======D is a perfectly valid password for sites requiring 8 characters, a letter, a number, and a special character.
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | 18th Oct '19
Kids today are more emotionally prepared for a zombie apocaplyse than for a family get together.
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | 18th Oct '19
When a minor consumes alcohol on their own, they become the criminal, victim, and evidence of that crime.
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | 18th Oct '19
Condoms are the ultimate coupon. You use one, and you save hundreds of thousands of dollars.
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | 17th Oct '19
We sleep so soundly during thunderstorms because our primitive ancestors knew they were safe from predators. Nobody likes being out in the rain.
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | 17th Oct '19
The difference between a million dollars and a billion dollars is approximately a billion dollars.
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | 17th Oct '19
Older people use regular checkouts to avoid computers. Younger people use self checkouts to avoid humans.
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | 17th Oct '19