If men are cock-blocked, then women are beaver-damned.
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | 6 hrs ago
If people said “it’s okay to be nervous” instead of “don’t be nervous”, it might make things a little easier
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | 12 hrs ago
In today's society, eating ass is more socially acceptable than smoking cigarettes.
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | 13 hrs ago
T-shirts with long sleeves are M-shirts
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | 21 hrs ago
You’re the tiniest bit older than the reflection you see in a mirror.
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | 25th May '19
A harmless little 5 year old girl could go in a forest at night and scare away 5 grown men armed with knives because of her laughter.
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | 25th May '19
A ceiling fan is like a helicopter who gave up on its dream and joined a 9 - 5 job.
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | 24th May '19
Whoever decided that the customer is always right ruined retail jobs forever.
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | 24th May '19
Maybe dogs like to fetch sticks because our ancestors threw spears to hunt wild animals so they made dogs go fetch them for faster reload.
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | 24th May '19
‘Six ton monster with a giant tentacle on its face with spikes’ sounds way creepier than elephants actually are.
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | 24th May '19
Goths are actually just shadow hippies.
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | 24th May '19
Game of Thrones is like the 10 page paper you write in school. You put tons of details into your paper. Then you realize you only have one more page until you're at 10 pages and quickly wrap it because you're not concerned with the quality you just want to stop writing.
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | 23rd May '19
If you look back at your teenage years and don't find yourself cringy, then chances are you still are cringy.
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | 23rd May '19
If you love milk chocolate, but don’t like dark chocolate, you actually like sugar more than chocolate.
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | 23rd May '19
If holy water kills vampires, then putting holy water in a humidifier is making holy gas. You just made a gas chamber for vampires.
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | 22nd May '19
6969420 minutes equals to 13 years, which is an appropriate age for something this immature.
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | 22nd May '19
You are probably closer to being a millionaire than Bill Gates.
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | 22nd May '19
'The Morse Code' is an anagram for 'Here comes dots'.
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | 22nd May '19
Statistically, if 49,668 people see this, one of them will die today.
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | 21st May '19
Dr.Strange has probably watched better versions of Game of Thrones Season 8
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | 21st May '19
On Halloween, you can just leave an empty bowl outside with a sign saying "Please only take one". People will think that some jackass took all of it. People will blame the guy who they think took it all, not you.
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | 21st May '19
It's so strange that in the real world we have animals that can spit acid, punch shockwaves, and even channel electricity, but none that breathe fire.
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | 20th May '19
If time-travel ever exists then it has always existed.
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | 19th May '19
The weird, artsy, loner usually gets the girl in movies (instead of the jock) simply because many movies are written by weird, artsy, loners.
permalink | original | comments | Showerthoughts | 19th May '19
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